Published in October, 2016 Invenio magazine

Each one of us experiences challenges at one time or another during our lives, and if we allow these challenges; our dreams, aspirations, and goals can be derailed and even stopped.  Why do we allow this to happen?  Why do we allow ourselves to stop ourselves?

Each one of us has a history which creates the person we are.  As part of this history, we have been influenced by many people from parents and siblings; through teachers, friends, other family members, and peers; and this influence may have an impact on how we feel about what we can achieve.

Just after I turned 11 years old, I was sent to boarding school in a different country to the one I was living and growing up in.  Having lived my formative years in a close knit family and community, years later I looked back at my school years; and realised that the boarding school experience gave me the courage to take steps that I might not have otherwise taken. 

Each one of us has, within our inner most being the strength to be able to take the steps that we need to take; and as a coach and mentor I find that my clients are able to find a way to take their steps and in doing so, to break their own barriers; but how?

Questions!  Reflection!  At birth we are all born with the ability to do anything we wanted to do, or be anything we want to be.  What stops us?

Taking time either with your own coach or mentor; or by yourself, to raise the questions you need to answer and reflect on those answers will help you understand what is stopping you.  The questions and reflections don’t have to only come from your coach or mentor, they can also come from within yourself.

I am a great one for raising questions, capturing my thoughts in writing: more often than not after meditation; and reflecting on the answers.

Meditation is something that allows you to quieten your mind from the everyday thoughts, stresses, busyness, and interferences.  Finding somewhere that offers no interferences, no disturbances, no phones, and no time constraints.  Although I say no time constraints in our busy lives, when you want to make a change to your life it will mean that you need to find time.  Finding time to quieten your mind to focus on your future is one of the major steps to breaking down your barriers to change. 

Meditation allows you to focus inwards; which allows you to discover and reflect on what you understand to be your barriers.

Learning how to do this is simple:

  1. Find a quiet place at a time when you will experience no disturbances.
  2. Sit comfortably.
  3. Focus on one thing. It is often suggested that you should focus on your breathing. Other suggestions include listening to music; but my choice is sitting on the beach focusing on the sound of the waves.
  4. As you feel your mind calm down, let your body relax. Sometimes after a hard or stressful day you may have to help your body relax i.e. relax your shoulders.
  5. Once your mind and body start to calm down, your inner being or spirit has the opportunity to start to hear your inner most thoughts or intuition.
  6. Just before you quieten these inner thoughts, ask yourself one key question in relation to the barrier you are facing; or the goal you are trying to achieve, or the change you are trying to implement.
  7. Focus on your choice of focus from point 3. You will feel completely quiet with no thoughts going your mind.
  8. At a point when you are ready to let thoughts back into your mind. The first thoughts that return will relate to the question asked in point 6.
  9. Capture these thoughts somewhere you can review them later. Capture them as you hear them. Do not interpret them. Do not analyse them. Just write them down as you hear them.
  10. Once you have captured your thoughts, let your day ‘return to normal’.

Reflection allows you to understand some of your inner most thoughts which may be putting one or more barriers in your way. Those barriers may be fears, concerns, or worries.  Whichever it is, now is your opportunity to either work through a range of questions on your own or raise the topic with your coach or mentor in your next coaching or mentoring session.

Living the life of your dreams
is a journey of self-discovery and achievement!

© Barbara J. Cormack

© 2016 Barbara J. Cormack.  All Rights Reserved.